A normal person prays to God, ‘Don’t give me problems.’ but a great person prays to God, ‘Give me the power to face my problems.’
This is a very short post. It’s a plea for help of some kind and yes, I understand that people hate pleas for help especially when everything is going well for them. I probably felt that way too when things were going well for me and they were until a few years ago. I never had to ask for anything. Things were great and I thought they would continue to be but life is not like that and I had forgotten this:
Nothing that you plan is going to work out. Everything is going to be totally different than the way you expected. And things will constantly challenge you. Wherever you look the world is not as solid as it seems to be.
I’m not going into my story or how things suddenly went from great to a disaster..if you want to, you can read about it on my gofundme page. People I have worked with over the last 30 years wrote stories and letters and these are combined with photos and video clips. I tried to make it an interesting webpage.
For a year now, I have been climbing out of a very dark hole and many people have helped me to do this. Especially around Christmas many people came forth to help. I felt very grateful and I felt hopeful again. I thought I was starting to catch up.
But it is often 2 steps forward and 1 step back.
I live in northeastern New Mexico and I live off the grid. I do not thankfully, have the expenses most people have: no mortgage, no car payment, a greenhouse grows vegetables and my only utility is a little bit of propane. But there are still sometimes things that need to be repaired-some are not important, some are vital.
The batteries for my solar system are vital and after 7 years, they are going out quickly-The electricity has already gone out 3 times today and it is a frightening feeling. These batteries run all the electricity for my home. I might be able to live without electricity but the solar system runs the well and I cannot live without water nor can my animals. I have several that I have rescued: 2 horses, 2 wolfdogs, 2 cats and they have to have water as we all do….. “El agua es vida“
I do not understand why this is happening to me..people say to me all the time “God will bless you..you have done so much for others” They tell me things like “The best is yet to come” or “You will come out of this much stronger” But I don’t feel stronger..just very, very tired. Someone said to me “You forgot to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.” Yes that’s true though I thought throughout my life that I was doing the right thing.
I need about $4000 to replace the batteries [there are 16] and pay the installer for labor, travel time, mileage etc.
I f you feel that you can help, please go to my gofundme page..I will be forever grateful. If you feel the need to judge me, please read the letters and stories on my gundfundme page before you do. I have spent most of my life helping in some way or another, mostly providing care and services to terminally ill people and I am continuing to do this in a smaller way on a volunteer basis. But I am nearly 70 years old, very tired and I cannot start over. I believe I would prefer to die than try to begin again. If you read my story, I think you will understand why.
*I just happened to read the following in an email and thought I would post it..it’s comforting and so if I am able to really climb out of my dark hole, maybe the phoenix will rise from the ashes and begin to live and create gain but only after I put my oxygen mask on First.
“You will be delighted to know that you have learned as much as you ever need to know about pain and suffering. No matter what the challenge is that you are going through, it is time for the pain to stop. It is time for you to complete your lessons and your healing process so you can spend your time creating the Life you want.
Even though the challenges you are going through may seem random, they are not. It may seem as though you are just a victim of circumstance, but that is not true either. Everything that you are experiencing at this time is something that you, at some level, have agreed to go through. I know that is hard to believe, but you did not agree to do this just because you wanted to see how miserable you could be. You agreed to experience these things because you were shown by your Higher Self, which is your I AM Presence, how much you would grow and the lessons you would learn by going through your particular challenges.”
*My partner, Jody Armijo makes beautiful altars and other forms of sacred art and I am in the process of opening a store on Etsy to sell his unique and beautiful art pieces. In the meantime, above is the cover image. I have named the shop La Casa de Rosas because nearly everything Jody makes, has a rose on it. I hope my next post will be about La Casa de Rosas.