“While we cannot say that any personality type causes cancer, certain personality features definitely increase the risk because they are more likely to generate physiological stress. Repression, the inability to say no and a lack of awareness of one’s anger make it much more likely that a person will find herself in situations where her emotions are unexpressed, her needs are ignored and her gentleness is exploited. Those situations are stress inducing, whether or not the person is conscious of being stressed. Repeated and multiplied over the years, they have the potential of harming homeostasis and the immune system…”
~Dr. Gabor Maté,
“If you silence yourself, if you try to be good, if you try to be polite or toe the party line, you end up paying for that in the long run. You pay for it…with your homeland, or with your soul, or with your artistic vision.” — Diana Abu-Jabar, author
FOR SEVERAL MONTHS now I have had sciatica and it has become more and more painful.
Sciatica is a medical condition characterized by pain going down the leg from the lower back. This pain may go down the back, outside, or front of the leg. Onset is often sudden following activities like heavy lifting, though gradual onset may also occur. Typically, symptoms are only on one side of the body.
I tried all my usual healing remedies that always work but nothing did and sometimes my leg hurt so much, I could barely walk. It was even at worse at night, keeping me awake and tired as I might be, I dreaded going to bed.
Then, a few nights ago I had a dream: I dreamed that I was back doing home health again and some woman-a supervisor told me I needed to take care of a man with a spinal cord injury. She told me he needed to be fed 4xs a day for 4 days. I really, really didn’t want to do it but the woman was doing a guilt trip on me and so I said yes. Dreading the experience [I used to work in rehab years ago and I hated it]. The dream moved on and suddenly I thought WHY AM I SAYING YES????..my legs are hurting so bad and i don’t want to do this anymore and I told her NO! When i woke up almost all of the sciatica pain was gone, probably 90 percent of it GONE and I realized I’ve been doing this for years: saying yes when I wanted and needed to say NO!
Many people who are caretakers and caregivers, those working in Hospice, in hospitals, nursing homes etc will likely understand this and so here is a great video from the renown psychiatrist, Dr. Gabor Maté, titled WHEN THE BODY SAYS NO
And if you need, some more inspiration, here’s one of my favorite songs which actually gave me the courage to quit my job in rehab many years ago. I was listening to the song as I was driving my son to school and dreading going to the hospital to work in an environment I disliked so much.
As I listened to the words of the song, I thought I’m quitting that job today and so when I arrived at the hospital, I told my supervisor [I was an Occupational Therapy Assistant] that I quit. “Not today” she said. “Yes right now” I said. “Why? she asked. “Because I hate Occupational Therapy.” Some may call it unprofessional but had I not quit, I would never have found the Hospice work I was meant to do.