NEEDING HELP

*****THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED….I just need to raise about $300 more and I’m there! As I am helped, I will go on to help others…a circle of kindness, caring and inspiration, my commitment….

CP
Last week the power steering went out on my 2007 FJ Cruiser leaving me stranded with no transportation for work, for emergencies or to get food for my animal and human family. I live in the country and I’m shut down completely. A power steering pump costs about $600 and I hope also to replace the tires, which are in extremely bad shape…about $900 for them.
My gofundme page is https://www.gofundme.com/poohsrainbow so if you want to help, you can contribute here
The gofundme page includes a record of some of my work.

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CHRIST CHURCH CATHEDRAL  HOUSTON, TEXAS

My work has always been with death and dying and these days I offer workshops on loss and grief.

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University of Wisconsin-Madison

Called Between Now & Forever, I have given these for hospices, church and community groups, universities and

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National Hospice and Palliative Care Conference – Phoenix Az

National Hospice and Palliative Care Conferences throughout the US. I offer them now in Las Vegas, Taos and Santa Fe, New Mexico. I am committed to doing them in memory of a teenage boy who was murdered a few weeks ago..  #dogoodforblaze
For nearly 30 years I worked through Rites of Passage/AIDS Care and Assistance, a non-profit I founded in 1988 to provide care

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Rites of Passage provided care for Jason Briggs until he died of AIDS at age 2

for terminally ill patients.

However the actions of a longtime employee destroyed the non-profit a few years ago. Since that time I have been struggling to repay the resulting debt and surviving on almost nothing. Several friends have appeared like angels to help me pull through this extremely difficult time.
Many, many thanks for any contribution however small or large…as I am helped, I will go on to help others…a circle of kindness, caring and inspiration, my commitment

Cindy

My gofundme page is https://www.gofundme.com/poohsrainbow so if you want to help, you can contribute here

These last 2 years have been really difficult -I hate asking for anything.-I don’t even like to complain in a restaurant about food that isn’t cooked right. And then in these past 2 years, I’ve had to ask for help many times. But I’ve met the most amazing people, people I never would have met if things had been going well. And I’ve done things and learned things too that I wouldn’t have otherwise. It’s as if as my world was crumbling, it was also expanding.

The spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle has often said “If life isn’t challenging you now, just wait a little..it will come.”

Sometimes there’s a warning-like looming financial problems or a health crisis and sometimes it happens in an instant like with the recent mudslides in California. And it seems like these things often happen when everything is working, when you’re sure you’ve got it made.

A few weeks ago I was deeply affected by the story of Blaze Bernstein, the 19 year old, University of Pennsylvania student who was brutally murdered by a ‘friend’ and I was especially touched by the statements his parents made, who said from the beginning that they would not succumb to hate and revenge. In an interview, Blaze’s father said that he had always felt like he was the luckiest person in the world. His son’s murder he said, taught him humility.

Humility, compassion, kindness, appreciation, community-these things that come from losing everything and such is LIFE on Earth.

 

 

 

KINDNESS, SURRENDER…and Blaze

“Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?”

Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor  161 -180

You will find rest from vain fancies if you perform every act in life as though it were your last.

Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor  161–180

“We won’t succumb to hate, bitterness or disillusionment; we will use wisely the time we have left together. When we stop crying we will start doing positive things to affect change. We ask that everyone work towards something good. Stop being complacent. Do something now.

~Jeanne and Gideon Bernstein

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This morning I was sitting in my rainbow room–my small sun-room which among other things, contains stained glass, hanging crystals, geraniumssunroombrightgeraniums..

ALTAR GOLDaltars that I’ve created andPHANTOM:SWING CHAIR

a hanging chair which I share with my cat Phantom..

I’ve been sitting in the rainbow room a lot lately, thinking about things, feeling like I should be doing something and not wanting to do anything.

Difficult to put into words–my thoughts…but they mostly have to do with surrender, acts of kindness, choices and the shift that’s happening as the old world dies and the ‘New Earth’ comes in.

As things have been extremely challenging in my life these past 2 years, I’ve been forced to look inward as my outer world crumbled. I couldn’t buy things that I wanted, couldn’t go out to eat, sometimes had very little food, couldn’t fix things that broke, not enough gas to go anywhere…Surrender to what is….there’s no other choice.

And so I struggled to find hope, find the positive, move out of anger and bitterness..and into SURRENDER. [It isn’t easy]

There are a few things that have helped me the most: listening to the spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, working on arts and crafts projects and reading the stories of people who have survived the greatest difficulties,  the greatest suffering….those who have gone through ‘the tumbler of life and come out polished’.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Blaze-Nathan-BernsteinLast week  I read a story that I could not get out of my mind. It was the story of 19 year old, University of Pennsylvania student, Blaze Bernstein who was brutally murdered a few weeks ago by a ‘friend’. He was missing from his parents home in southern California and after a week of searching, his body was discovered in a shallow grave in a park near his home. He had been stabbed 20 times.

This is a story of horror, violence, insanity…what we read in the ‘news’ every day, what we are becoming immune to. Violence begets more violence, hate begets more hate…on and on the cycle continues. Blame is always placed on someone or something else. Personal responsibility is not encouraged and for many this has become the expected and accepted way.

A vicious murder of a beloved child, in this case one who was known as a brilliant teenager with…..a generous and gentle heart, is the very worst nightmare a parent can experience but Blaze’s parents chose a unique way of responding.  From the time that his body was found, his parents made the statement that they would not give in to hate or revenge.  Instead they wrote:

“We won’t succumb to hate, bitterness or disillusionment; we will use wisely the time we have left together. When we stop crying we will start doing positive things to affect change. We ask that everyone work towards something good. Stop being complacent. Do something now.

Now is the time to set aside fear, ignorance and judgement. It is time to love. Love each other. Be good. Do good and honor Blaze’s memory.”

~Jeanne and Gideon Bernstein

 

And Blaze’s father went on to say that he felt this must have happened for a reason.

This seems a life changing understanding and because Blaze’s story has reached so many thousands of people and will continue to, this understanding can be life changing for many…it seems to me to be the way of the New Earth which is coming in now: Surrender, Kindness, refusing to give in to hate…..make the world a better place.

A family friend who knew Blaze though not well wrote:

And while I can’t make up for not knowing him as well as I should have, I can promise this: By performing daily acts of kindness, by rejecting hate and prejudice, and by never again taking a precious human soul for granted, I will never, ever forget him.

~Gary Goldhammer

This is Blaze’s memorial website. It is beautiful in every way..It is a light in the darkness.

*PS Somewhat related: Until a few years ago, I often gave presentations on loss and grief which I called Between Now & Forever. cathedral-me-ttm1 copyI gave these presentations throughout the US, for Hospices, Church and Community Groups, Universities and Rehab Centers as well for National Hospice and Palliative Care Conferences. They were simple, magical and powerful. I always started by showing our award winning documentary, Turning Toward the Morning and followed the film with the opportunity for those who wanted to, to make a memorial for friends or family members. I brought lots of colored markers, crayons, glitter and paper and kids:lourdes:memorialseveryone from small children, to the very elderly

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created beautiful drawings, heartfelt messages and sometimes letters…….lynn memorial

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I feel that I am now emerging out of 2 years in the ‘tumbler of life’, emerging stronger and with more clarity and I am ready to do these presentations again but I just realized that I want to do them in memory of Blaze Bernstein. They will be different from the ones I did previously because they will include this message from Blaze’s parents: “Now is the time to set aside fear, ignorance and judgement. It is time to love. Love each other. Be good. Do good …”For more information, please email me at fonehome@indian-creek.net.

If you would like to contribute to the continuation of this blog, you can do so here.

Thank you and May the Force be with You.