You say you trust but really when it came down, you didn’t really have to trust because you had a little stash saved up in the corner that you think God doesn’t see. But then somehow that gets burnt up altogether and then you do have to trust and then you’re taken through the valley of mistrust to the open plains of trust…..”
~Mooji from The Adventure in Being
“You know what?
You are not poor. You have never been poor.
You have a lovely home, a roof over your head, a great family, Nature surrounds you & welcomes you.
You have far more riches than anyone can count.
You are blessed.
Yes, we ALL have bumps in the road.
But, look at how you have pulled thru all of them.
None of us can ever do ANYTHING alone. Ever.
It DOES take a village.
We all help each other in it’s myriad of forms.
I will always share with you”
~from a wolf rescue friend
I STARTED A POST the other day that I was going to call I hate being poor…it’s awesome but it wasn’t really going anywhere..the words I was writing were words I had written too many times before…..so I quit.
I had taken the title from something I heard Kanye West say in an interview. He was talking about being bipolar and he said ” I hate being bipolar..it’s awesome”
I don’t know exactly what he meant but I understand
that you can hate something and it can be awesome at the same time just like the worst things in life can turn out to be the best.
In that post that I didn’t write, I was talking about how two and a half years ago, I became very poor almost over night [due to a ‘friend’s’ betrayal ] and I was reflecting on how, after the long period of bitterness and anger passed, I began to see all the good things that never would have happened if life had continued on in the old way.
And there have been so many good things: really wonderful new friends appeared, old friends became much closer and friends both old and new, came to help, to really help without judging me or trying to make me feel ashamed. The loss of money brought Humility because for several years I had been able to buy whatever I wanted and suddenly I couldn’t buy anything..suddenly even buying dish soap was a big deal.
I HATE BEING POOR
So the ‘hate being poor’ part is living on $600 a month for 4 years [I have 1 year and 10 months left ] as I try to pay back the huge debt left from the betrayal; sometimes having very little food; stressing out and feeling ashamed about being behind in payments I owe; threatening phone calls; having someone drive up and serve me with papers-lawsuits from credit card companies etc. … and I do at times get really, really discouraged.
The ‘awesome’ part besides all the great friends who are a part of my life, has been in becoming far more creative as I began experimenting with painting furniture, doors, walls that shimmer…
And in this time too..
I’ve learned a lot about animal rescue
and the people who rescue…
In the past, when my wolfdog, Shiloh lost his companion and went nearly crazy with loneliness, I would have bought another puppy but I had no money for a puppy so I turned to Wolfdog Rescue and that opened up a whole new, wonderful world for me.
These people not only helped me…rescue 2 wolfdog companions for Shiloh but they have made
donations of dog-food and many, many contributions of money.
And they have become some of my closest friends.
I’ve started appreciating the smaller things…
like a blazing fire in the wood stove on a Winter night.
And I’ve learned to live more in the moment, to be more positive, happy and thankful…and strangely enough to worry less [at least some of the time].
I’ve learned what money can do and what it can’t. It certainly makes life easier in many ways but it can’t ever make you happy. I really understand that now. Sometimes I think what if suddenly I had plenty of money…would that make me happy and I realize no…it would bring a lot of relief but the issues that I have to deal with would still be there, still have to be dealt with.
During this time too, I learned a lot more about alternative medicine and methods of healing. I haven’t taken any prescription drugs for over 30 years but I was taking Advil PM for sleep….until I got my medical cannabis card. I bought CBD oil and was able to sleep soundly even with all the stress..for the first time in my life. A lot of pain I was having-in my legs and feet as well as seriously painful sciatica, went away almost immediately.
Cannabis really is THE SACRED PLANT.
I live much more on faith now…I do the best I can , what I feel is right and then I try to let everything else go. This quote which I posted above is pretty much how I live.
“You say you trust but really when it came down to it you had a little stash in the corner..saved up in the corner that you think God doesn’t see but then somehow that gets burnt up altogether and then you do have to trust and then you’re taken through the valley of mistrust to the open plains of trust…..”
~Mooji from The Adventure of Being
FOOD FROM THE GREENHOUSE
However the reason I wanted to write this post today is because of something that happened about a week ago:.
We had no food, nothing in the cabinets and the refrigerator was empty too. Our first priority is our animal family and thanks to donations, we are always able to keep the them well fed but there are times when we have very little.
So I felt sad — it was one of those times when I felt totally defeated. * There’s a public service announcement that I hear often..it’s about a hunger and people who are working hard, trying to keep up but they still don’t have enough money to buy food. How completely ridiculous I used to think [when I had plenty of money to buy food and felt superior] but I understand now…you think it can’t happen to you…But it can and it does and it may.
Anyway then I remembered that there was a little rice and a package of red beans and there were a few tomatoes in the greenhouse too..mostly green but a few ripe ones and a large basil plant.
So Jody [ the Brown Piglet in this blog] made…fried green tomatoes for lunch and red beans and rice with tomatoes and basil for dinner….. And I thought these were some of the best meals I had ever had. Simplicity and appreciation make a meal delicious.
HERBS AND FLOWERS FROM THE MEADOW
For so many things these past few years, I have turned back to nature, to the land and it has provided freely and generously and I have thought: this is all I need..it’s all right here…it always was.
I have a little meadow and growing in it are lots of herbs and flowers that have been used for healing by the Hispanic and Native People of northern New Mexico for centuries. A few weeks ago, I saw some sage smudge sticks with rose petals and I thought since I have sage and herbs and roses, I would try to make some myself. Everything I needed is available right here except for the hemp string and the tiny silver charm I used.
*I’m planning to sell these smudge sticks to help support our animal family. I’ll write another post with ordering information when they’re ready.
Below are 3 slideshows, I made recently about the animals we have rescued [we also have 2 horses and several chickens].
And also a video clip from the Jamaican spiritual teacher, Mooji called The Adventure in Being. It has been and continues to be, my connection to the spiritual, to the Creator, to the Higher that brings me through the very difficult times.
If you can, want to or are in a position to help us in supporting our animal family or just to help, go to my gofundme page. I have not updated this page lately but have used it as a place for contributions for a couple of years now and it has helped enormously!!! Anything and Everything is appreciated.
Thank you and May the Force be with You.