NEEDING HELP

*****THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED….I just need to raise about $300 more and I’m there! As I am helped, I will go on to help others…a circle of kindness, caring and inspiration, my commitment….

CP
Last week the power steering went out on my 2007 FJ Cruiser leaving me stranded with no transportation for work, for emergencies or to get food for my animal and human family. I live in the country and I’m shut down completely. A power steering pump costs about $600 and I hope also to replace the tires, which are in extremely bad shape…about $900 for them.
My gofundme page is https://www.gofundme.com/poohsrainbow so if you want to help, you can contribute here
The gofundme page includes a record of some of my work.

cathedral-me-ttm1 copy

CHRIST CHURCH CATHEDRAL  HOUSTON, TEXAS

My work has always been with death and dying and these days I offer workshops on loss and grief.

File_01 madison:exhibit

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Called Between Now & Forever, I have given these for hospices, church and community groups, universities and

phoenix ttm

National Hospice and Palliative Care Conference – Phoenix Az

National Hospice and Palliative Care Conferences throughout the US. I offer them now in Las Vegas, Taos and Santa Fe, New Mexico. I am committed to doing them in memory of a teenage boy who was murdered a few weeks ago..  #dogoodforblaze
For nearly 30 years I worked through Rites of Passage/AIDS Care and Assistance, a non-profit I founded in 1988 to provide care

File jason aids amb

Rites of Passage provided care for Jason Briggs until he died of AIDS at age 2

for terminally ill patients.

However the actions of a longtime employee destroyed the non-profit a few years ago. Since that time I have been struggling to repay the resulting debt and surviving on almost nothing. Several friends have appeared like angels to help me pull through this extremely difficult time.
Many, many thanks for any contribution however small or large…as I am helped, I will go on to help others…a circle of kindness, caring and inspiration, my commitment

Cindy

My gofundme page is https://www.gofundme.com/poohsrainbow so if you want to help, you can contribute here

These last 2 years have been really difficult -I hate asking for anything.-I don’t even like to complain in a restaurant about food that isn’t cooked right. And then in these past 2 years, I’ve had to ask for help many times. But I’ve met the most amazing people, people I never would have met if things had been going well. And I’ve done things and learned things too that I wouldn’t have otherwise. It’s as if as my world was crumbling, it was also expanding.

The spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle has often said “If life isn’t challenging you now, just wait a little..it will come.”

Sometimes there’s a warning-like looming financial problems or a health crisis and sometimes it happens in an instant like with the recent mudslides in California. And it seems like these things often happen when everything is working, when you’re sure you’ve got it made.

A few weeks ago I was deeply affected by the story of Blaze Bernstein, the 19 year old, University of Pennsylvania student who was brutally murdered by a ‘friend’ and I was especially touched by the statements his parents made, who said from the beginning that they would not succumb to hate and revenge. In an interview, Blaze’s father said that he had always felt like he was the luckiest person in the world. His son’s murder he said, taught him humility.

Humility, compassion, kindness, appreciation, community-these things that come from losing everything and such is LIFE on Earth.

 

 

 

MY DREAM/A MIRACLE HEALING…a short but true story

“While we cannot say that any personality type causes cancer, certain personality features definitely increase the risk because they are more likely to generate physiological stress. Repression, the inability to say no and a lack of awareness of one’s anger make it much more likely that a person will find herself in situations where her emotions are unexpressed, her needs are ignored and her gentleness is exploited. Those situations are stress inducing, whether or not the person is conscious of being stressed. Repeated and multiplied over the years, they have the potential of harming homeostasis and the immune system…”

~Dr. Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress

“If you silence yourself, if you try to be good, if you try to be polite or toe the party line, you end up paying for that in the long run. You pay for it…with your homeland, or with your soul, or with your artistic vision.” — Diana Abu-Jabar, author

FOR SEVERAL MONTHS now I have had sciatica and it has become more and more painful.

Sciatica is a medical condition characterized by pain going down the leg from the lower back. This pain may go down the back, outside, or front of the leg.[3] Onset is often sudden following activities like heavy lifting, though gradual onset may also occur.[5] Typically, symptoms are only on one side of the body.

I tried all my usual healing remedies that always work but nothing did and sometimes my leg hurt so much, I could barely walk. It was even at worse at night, keeping me awake and tired as I might be, I dreaded going to bed.

Then, a few nights ago I had a dream: I dreamed that I was back doing home health again and some woman-a supervisor told me I needed to take care of a man with a spinal cord injury. She told me he needed to be fed 4xs a day for 4 days. I really, really didn’t want to do it but the woman was doing a guilt trip on me and so I said yes. Dreading the experience [I used to work in rehab years ago and I hated it]. The dream moved on and suddenly I thought WHY AM I SAYING YES????..my legs are hurting so bad and i don’t want to do this anymore and I told her NO! When i woke up almost all of the sciatica pain was gone, probably 90 percent of it GONE and I realized I’ve been doing this for years: saying yes when I wanted and needed to say NO!

Many people who are caretakers and caregivers, those working in Hospice, in hospitals, nursing homes etc will likely understand this and so here is a great video from the renown psychiatrist, Dr. Gabor Maté, titled WHEN THE BODY SAYS NO

And if you need, some more inspiration, here’s one of my favorite songs which actually gave me the courage to quit my job in rehab many years ago. I was listening to the song as I was driving my son to school and dreading going to the hospital to work in an environment I disliked so much.

As I listened to the words of the song, I thought I’m quitting that job today and so when I arrived at the hospital, I told my supervisor [I was an Occupational Therapy Assistant] that I quit. “Not today” she said. “Yes right now” I said. “Why? she asked. “Because I hate Occupational Therapy.” Some may call it unprofessional but had I not quit, I would never have found the Hospice work I was meant to do.

*IF YOU APPRECIATE THIS BLOG OR FIND IT HELPFUL, PLEASE CONTRIBUTE  IT IS MY WAY OF CONTRIBUTING NOW THAT I CAN NO LONGER DO THE HOSPICE WORK I DID FOR SO MANY YEARS.

MANY THANKS!

CP

It’s Not Important..a very short story

mayameLast night I was talking to a longtime friend in Texas. We talk often about what’s happening in our lives at the moment. Nancy is a very happy, positive person and it always cheers me up immensely to talk to her.

Last night we were talking about the things that are important to us and those that are not.

And she told me this story, part of which I knew.

In the late 80s, she and her husband Jim had an embroidery shop, a very successful one in Austin, Tx.

They embroidered jackets for some of the Austin musicians and they also did a lot of monogramming.

Their shop was a fun place to go to because they always brought their three dogs to work and Jim was a happy person like Nancy. Their big sewing machines were always running and both Jim and Nancy loved to talk and they talked at the same time so it was sometimes hard to hear but it didn’t matter…..it was the energy of the place that made you want to be there and then too, they were soul mates and so happy to be together.

But early one December Jim got sick…he thought he had the flu but it was a brain tumor and very quickly, he had surgery. He was given 45 days to live and in a matter of weeks, he was under hospice care so he could stay at home.

Nancy, under tremendous pressure, kept their shop running by herself. Jim, at home by himself, was constantly in her thoughts and then too, she was she worried about money-the shop was their only income… and what would happen to the shop…she knew she couldn’t keep it going without Jim.

One evening she came home, exhausted from work and she sat on the floor next to Jim’s bed and started talking, telling him about her day, her thoughts and fears….

And as she looked up at him, he put finger to his lips and said “Shhh..it’s not important.” And she realized it wasn’t.

Last night after Nancy told me this story, I remembered the times I had gone to visit my hospice patients back when I was working for Hospice Austin. I thought I had a lot of problems then and often, as I drove to see these patients, I would be worrying, feeling angry or stressed about something.

But as soon as I  walked into their rooms, all my worries, my fears, my negative thoughts  went away and I understood at the deepest level “It’s not Important.”jason breathing tube 2

Nancy, whose story I just told, has a great blog..read it here

I’ve put this film clip up in a previous post but I’m putting it up a second time because “it is important”