THE GARDEN AND THE CIRCUS [DREAMWORLD] *You have to see the Circus before you can get to the Garden

“The More Real You Get, the More Unreal the World Gets.”

-John Lennon

“I have come here to lose the smog
And I feel to be a cog in something turning
Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe it’s the time of man
I don’t know who l am
But you know life is for learning
We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden”

~from WOODSTOCK written by Joni Mitchell

“Every human being is a raindrop. And when enough raindrops become clear and coherent, then they become the power of the storm.”

~John Trudell

I’ve been thinking about writing something for the New Year but haven’t felt inspired, didn’t know what to write. A few days ago,  I was thinking about writing about a Winter Morning.  The night before we had gotten about a foot of snow here in northeastern New Mexicoapollosnowjan-17

and my wolfdogs seemed so happy. They have a huge fenced in area… los-lobos2longshot-snowand I love to watch them running and playing in the snow–2 of them were rescued from the brink of death and now it seems, they are where they belong.

And then later I was sitting in my little sun-room,geraniumssunroombright appreciating the warmth from the big south facing windows, admiring my flowers and plants with the snow in the background.snapdragons-against-snow


I love the winters here–I missed Winter so much all the years I lived in Texas.   I remember when I was in Maine several years ago, having dinner with some friends and they were talking about how we need the 4 seasons. The 4 seasons-spring, summer, fall and winter are like the 4 seasons of life they said-childhood, young adult, middle age, old age. We need them all.

So I was feeling peaceful and appreciative and then I happened to click on the Yahoo ‘News’ and I saw the breaking news that several people had been shot and killed at the Ft Lauderdale Airport. Another day , Another Shooting…

“The great lie is that it is civilization. It’s not civilized. It has been literally the most blood thirsty brutalizing system ever imposed upon this planet. That is not civilization. That’s the great lie, is that it represents civilization.”

~John Trudell, Native American author, poet, actor, musician, and political activist


Lately I’ve been seeing life, this life on Earth as a Circus..a Circus that grows increasingly more insane every day.

I don’t live in the Circus though-I’m just watching it….maybe because I live so ‘far from the madding crowd’. Life is pretty simple out here in this little village in the mountains of northeastern New Mexico. I don’t have TV, I live off the grid, there’s no traffic, I live in a a small, old world Hispanic community where everyone helps each other out and the barter system is still very much alive.

But I  do read a lot..and I see the circus, the dream world more and more clearly every dayemperor-child and so I’m putting some video clips at the end of this post for those who are tired of pretending, who prefer the truth, who  will take the red pill, unpleasant as it may be..knowing that the truth will set us free. the-emperors-new-clothes*Maybe because I grew up in a world where no one dared to say the emperor has no clothes, maybe I became highly allergic to pretending, to ‘the false fine, fine’ as someone called it or to ‘these sort of things don’t happen in nice families’–things like domestic violence or suicide. Immediately after my 16 year old brother killed himself, all the pictures of him disappeared..he was never spoken of again and so those who came into the family later, never knew he existed..because…these things don’t happen in ‘nice families’.


James Philip David Jr. ‘FLIP’ 1950-1966

People [most of them] want to get along, they want peace, beauty, a better world for their children and grandchildren but there are those who don’t and they create hate, racism, fear and violence. They are the Masters of War. They can be found in politics, in government, in positions of ‘leadership’. They are the few, WE ARE THE MANY.


“I have come here to lose the smog
And I feel to be a cog in something turning
Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe it’s the time of man
I don’t know who l am
But you know life is for learning
We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden”

~from WOODSTOCK written by Joni Mitchell

So in order to get back to the garden, you have to first see the CIRCUS. It’s so easy to see but in this world of pretending, of materialism, of extreme brainwashing, many prefer not to.sheeple

“Think not forever of yourselves, O chiefs nor of your own generation. Think of the continuing generations of our families, think of our grandchildren and of those yet unborn, whose faces are coming from beneath the ground.”

~—Deganawida (The Great Peacemaker) 1200AD

I think there is this to consider though. Even if we ourselves aren’t interested, it seems to me that we should be concerned for our children and grandchildren. This world cannot survive much longer as it is..8th fire stills_pollution

In my own life, my efforts are all toward going back to the garden, of looking to find the balance between heaven and earth…

hobbiton sign front close copy

I’m pretty normal  I think….not weird or far out.  I’ve spent a large part my life working with terminally ill people and their families and from them, I have learned most everything I’ve needed to know about life.

Growing up, I went to excellent schools but I realized recently that I never learned much of anything there, not much I could really use….LIFE has been my teacher.

It’s funny..we do have the technologies to be able to turn this world into a garden of Eden and we could do it in 10 yrs time if we had the political will

Mark Meyers, Solar Desiger

By choice I live pretty simply these days. I live off the grid and so I only have one utility-a small amount of propane. Electricity comes from the sun, wood for heating from the forest, herbs and vegetables from the greenhouse.

I’m not a patriot [oh no! people will say..not friends with you anymore!], I don’t believe Columbus discovered America, I’m not a Republican or a Democrat, I’m not religious but I make every effort to stay spiritually connected and to live as I was taught by my greatest teacher, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: to follow my intuition no matter what, to always take the highest choice and to remember that

“You have to temper the iron. Every hardship is an opportunity that you are given, an opportunity to grow. To grow is the sole purpose of existence on this planet Earth. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.”
~Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Most of all though, I care about this Earth, our home. I want life here to go on but in a beautiful way, in the way that it could and I want in my small way, to leave things better than I found them.

Below are some video clips–the subjects range from the current economy to diet, to the origination of the AIDS virus to spirituality

These are for me anyway, some, a few of the Truth Tellers. They cut through the ENORMOUS amount of propaganda/lies being put forward in these times and they offer rays of hope and another way of seeing. However we may want to pretend otherwise, these are the times of transition..the ego based systems are dissolving, the caterpillar must turn into a butterfly…there is no other choice.

Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle is a world renown spiritual teacher. He wrote the international best-sellers The Power of Now and The New Earth

John Trudell

John Trudell who died just recently, was a Native American author, poet, actor, musician, and political activist. Robert Redford has said that talking with him was similar to what he imagined talking with the Dalai Lama would be like.

Dr. Len Horowitz

Educated  at Harvard, Dr Len Horowitz was living a mainstream life until he was sent to investigate the Florida dentist who purposely infected one of his patients with AIDS. Following a paper trail, Dr.Horowitz  discovered where and how AIDS actually originated.

David Icke

David Vaughan Icke  is an English writer and public speaker. A former footballer and sports broadcaster, Icke has made his name since the 1990s as a professional conspiracy theorist, calling himself a “full time investigator into who and what is really controlling the world.”

*NOTE: conspiracies are no longer conspiracies but the can find conspiracies now by reading the mainstream, so called ‘news’

Richie Allen Radio Shows

Richie Allen has been producing and presenting television and radio programs for the best part of sixteen years.

The show features up to the minute news analysis by researchers, journalists and academics who are ignored by the corporate controlled media, as well as featuring activists from all around the world who are making a difference in their communities every day. People are tired of hearing about the problems, they want to hear of positive solutions.

That is why the show, while challenging the mainstream medias version of events, focuses heavily on the men and women who are trying to cause a seismic shift in the current paradigm. The skype line to the show will be open for listeners to call in and have their say. There will be no censorship.

Prince Ea

Born and raised on the North Side of St. Louis Missouri, twenty-­eight year old poet, filmmaker, and speaker.

*I came across this video, Why School Sucks on the Facebook page of a 14 year old boy who committed suicide. This was his last post before he killed himself and he wrote underneath it “I hope all of my teachers see this.”

Njacko Backo

From his early days as a marginalized youth in the village of Bazou, Njacko has risen above circumstance to become a living testament to the transformative power of music; an award-winning musician, a beloved music al educator; an evangelist for the idea that wealth is to be found in community, not in worldly possessions; and a generous philanthropist who is currently rebuilding a school in the very same town that once treated him as an outcast.

*this clip is from our documentary, Manitou Api~Where the Sun Rises

8th Fire – Njacko Backo clip from Andy Pickard on Vimeo.


Born and raised in a small coastal town in Maine, Kirtana has been playing guitar and writing songs since she was eleven years old. In Kirtana’s own words, the best description for both her music and her purpose in sharing it is to “celebrate divine love and the truth of who we are.”

Chemtrails [If you don’t see them and wonder why they’re there, then I don’t know what to say. They’re here this very moment destroying the beautiful clear skies of northern New Mexico]

WOODSTOCK/Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young [no explanation needed]


*You can google the following and it’s nothing to do with taking sides in the ‘election’..just brings to mind the Mexican proverb “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are”

-Spirit cooking/John Podesta

-International Pedophile Ring

-Convicted Pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein and the Clintons and others


Until 6 years ago, when I moved to northeastern New Mexico, I lived my whole life as a member of the majority, privileged some might say. I am white, grew up in a fairly upper class family, went to private school

hockaday 4th grade


and college, was introduced to Houston society [twice..yikes!], was married to a doctor for several years etc., etc.


I had a lot of challenges and hard times on my life journey but still, I was always a part of the majority. I didn’t go to school with people from other races or cultures and in the places where I lived in Texas, people from other cultures, with a very few exceptions, were either nonexistent or they were the workers.

I remember feeling really irritated when I made a phone call and it was “press one for English, two for Spanish” Why did they have to have Spanish as a choice I thought. Can’t they just speak English!? [the viewpoint of some politicians which is born out of ignorance]

Spanish is the loving tongue
Soft as music, light as spring

-Bob Dylan from Spanish is the Loving Tongue

And then I moved to a very rural, relatively poor, Hispanic community in the mountains of northeastern New Mexico. I moved to this community because from the moment I first drove down the red dirt road, I knew I was home. There was a tiny adobe church and I thought it was los hueros

In those first few months I lived here, I often met with an Hispanic Elder from the area and he told me things that he felt I needed to know. He told me that everything that I had experienced in my life, had brought me to this place and he told me that these people spoke the language of the heart. He said if I couldn’t learn to speak that way, then I wouldn’t be able to stay. He told me that the people were holy because they were whole-they lived close to their land, close to Earth, asking little, giving much.ED'S GRANDPARENTS 1 copy

He told me that they represented the verse from the bible that says “The meek shall inherit the Earth”MACLOVIA-LOVE-JESUS

All of this was the absolute opposite from the way I had been brought up. To say the least, no one in that world had spoken the language of the heart except maybe one woman who had taken care of my brother and me when our mother was dying and a few of the maids who worked for my stepmother. I don’t think the people I was raised with would have known what “the language of the heart” meant and certainly wouldn’t have wanted to speak it.

As time moved on, I met more people from the community and surrounding communities. I love hearing Spanish spoken—it’s a beautiful language and the primary language of the community. Like many Native People, many of these Hispanic people had been forced to learn English as children and except for the very old ones, they all spoke English but preferred to speak their own language and keep the traditions of their culture.Victor_horseearly morning brand


Amazing I thought, that these people, who would be considered “primitive and uneducated” by many from the other world , were skilled in so many ways [ many are artists or craftsmen] and were able to speak two languages …The people in the world I had come from, were mainly skilled at making money and wearing the right clothes.George copy And  I had never been able to learn another language, failing German badly and never able to learn French or Spanish either.

I often drive over to Taos which is truly multi cultural, mainly made up of the Taos Pueblo people, the Hispanics and the Anglos.

At times the public is allowed to go to some of the ceremonies at Taos Pueblo-ceremonies that are ancient, mystical and beautiful.





For me, it’s beyond wonderful to go into restaurants and see these very different cultures represented, to be able to visit Taos Pueblo….



and to become friends with people from all three cultures.

Jonathan and book copy

Jonathan Warm Day Coming, Taos Pueblo Artist and Author

Ed copy

Ed Cardenas, Substance Abuse Counselor and Author

I don’t know many places where this is possible. I know also, that I  would never again be able to live in a place where there was only one race of people represented And I could never be interested in being a member of the majority. I think really and truly, I never was….interested.

So everywhere now, since the attacks in Paris, I hear the word ‘solidarity’ and I wonder what it really means to the people who are talking about it. Are they ready to participate in the bombing, does it mean they’re joining in with all the hatred or is it just a word which allows them to feel they’re doing the right and popular thing without really doing anything?

I know now what it means to me…a few months ago I saw solidarity in action:

Solidarity/The Community

A man and his three sons owned some property in the community though they weren’t living here full time. They had trampled on a lot of people and actually tried to destroy one person in particular. They had caused a whole lot of suffering and everyone wanted them to leave.

Then one morning, the sons went hunting and one of them didn’t return. He had a serious medical condition and needed medication. Several hours passed and still, he didn’t return. One by one everyone in the community who was able, began to look for the missing man. It was cold and the country is rough but they walked. Some walked all night.foggy bald mt

The next morning they were joined by more people, people on horseback, Search and Rescue, National guard helicopters. A huge number of people gathered and walked and rode horses and four wheelers and they made sacrifices in order to do so…jody red-snow ride copy

The man who had taken the brunt of the father and sons’ cruelty – they had wanted to destroy him and nearly been successful a few times-joined in. He had felt hatred  toward them and hadn’t wanted to help but he prayed for the lost one and then he walked.He walked probably 8 hours looking for someone who had threatened him,  pulled a gun on him and much worse.

When he came down from the mountain, the son had been found-scratched and disoriented but alive. His father with tears running down his face, apologized to this man he had hurt, hugging him and telling him how sorry he was and how thankful. He would do anything now that he could to help this man-his enemy.

Hate dissolved. Everyone could feel it dissolving and felt thankful. No one was resentful of the hours they had spent looking.

There’s so much more I could say about living in this way, in this community: about the respect that is given always, to the elders, about people who have always lived off the land and continue to do so, about people who generally lack the popular obsession with materialism.eli:jody

but instead, I’ll put up this song from Willy Nelson that I heard last night.

*All paintings including the painting of the church are by TAOS PUEBLO ARTIST, JONATHAN WARM DAY COMING. Please visit his website